Weapon in My Underwear

For some inexplicable reason, most people assume that I'm a feminist. And a friend of mine once referred to me as a "hard-core feminist". She earned a smack on the head for that one.

I am not a feminist.
I believe in equality and women's rights because I feel that it is part and parcel of human rights, women being human and all.
But I am not a feminist.

On a level playing ground, I believe in meritocracy. I don't agree when people use gender as an issue to garner support for a promotion etc. I don't agree with the concept of giving the lady a push-up (and I'm not talking about bras here). You get up by working hard, and proving yourself as an excellent person who is worthy of being up there.

No woman is required to build the world by destroying herself. ~Rabbi Sofer

I know some feminists and sometimes, I feel like they use their ovary as a weird weapon.

The Hard-Core Men-are-Scum Feminist
They wear manly clothes. They smoke, drink, prey on younger men in vain attempts to be like a man. They're aggressive, loud, boisterous and antagonistic.
In their eyes, being feminine, lady-like and womanly renders one disgracefully incapable of getting respect. If you're womanly, you're a ditz. No one wants a ditz for a CEO. You gotta be one of the boys, you gotta be a MAN.
To me, that's a shame.
If you think men are scum, why are you acting like one?

When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn't she behave like a nice man? ~Edith Evans

The Fickle Feminist
"I want to go bungee-jumping and sky-diving and rock-climbing"
"Okay... but don't do it too often. Women at your age tend to suffer from osteoperosis."
"WHAT??? HOW DARE YOU!!! Are you saying that WOMEN have brittle bones and MEN don't?? What?? You think you men are stronger than women ah?! I'll have you know that I'm a black belt in karate and I pump weights at the gym 5 times a week, okay!"
2 days later
"Hoonnneyy.... Can you carry this box for me? It's too heavy...."

I knew one fickle feminist who'd get all hot and bothered whenever someone challenged her feminist beliefs. She'd scream "women can do exactly what men can do and even better!"
But every time we went on debate tournaments, she'd expect the boys to carry her luggage for her.
I could only roll my eyes at the sheer hypocrisy.

One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man. ~Marlo Thomas

I've got a colleague who screeches when a man pulls up a chair for her, or offers her a seat on the LRT, or opens a door for her. But on a date, she ALWAYS expects the man to pick up the tab.
What the hell is that all about?

Chivalry and gentlemen are rare these days.
It's always refreshing to be treated like a lady. It doesn't make a woman less intelligent to have someone open a door for her. It doesn't make us less capable of doing our job if a man pulls up our chair at the meeting room. For heaven's sake... it's no big deal.
When you make such things a big deal, you trivialize all the other major accomplishments of the feminist movement - like giving us the right to vote, the right to work, the right to equal financial gain.

No one would take you seriously if all you bitch about is your right to open your own door.

Now, don't get me wrong.
Feminism on its own is not a flawed or terrible concept.
Yes, we need to work for equality in human rights. But what irks me is the way feminism is sometimes screwed up by women with their own peculiar perceptions.

We are human beings first, our gender, second.

Whether women are better than men I cannot say - but I can say they are certainly no worse. ~Golda Meir

What's the point of dividing humankind into two battling lines?
No religion or school of thought teaches us to crusade against the people whom we NEED in order to preserve the human race.

The only thing we need to do is to cultivate mutual respect. Nothing more, nothing less.

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin