I apologize beforehand for this absolutely ridiculous and absurd post. I spent the weekend with a high fever and..well, that's just my excuse.
If you're a Malaysian or you've lived in Malaysia for the past 10 years, you cannot proclaim to have never heard the name Siti Nurhaliza. For the benefit of those who don't have any idea who this woman is, she is a singer. But she's not just any run-of-the-mill singer, she is deemed the Malaysian Sweetheart. The Epitome of Loveliness. The Personification of Goodness.
I'm not a big fan of Siti. Neither am I one of those who proudly declare themselves Anti-Siti. I mean, she's a great singer. I really do believe she has a very good voice. And I respect her for her steadfast ability to maintain a 'clean reputation', especially in the world of dirty-entertainment-tabloids. The girl should be admired for what she has achieved at such a young age.
But despite my admiration for her achievements, I'm not about to join her million-membership fan club or anything. But I know someone who frowns upon that... Let's call her Yaya.
The following is a blow-by-blow account of my conversation with Yaya.
Me: So, Yaya. You must very proud of your 'idola', eh? Performing in London and all.
Yaya: Of course lah!! Not many Anak Melayu can sing in London, okay! Hah! I'd like to see Dayang or Waheeda or any of the Siti-wannabe's do THAT in the next 50 years!
Me: Waah... So passionate.
Yaya: Mestila!!! Siti is the BOMB! No one was like her, and no one will EVER be like her. She's so lemah-lembut, so gentle, so soft-spoken, so sweet and you can't deny that her voice is just so magical.
Me: Ya. I know. She's got a very nice voice.
Yaya: Excuse me. Not just 'very nice' okay. It's M-A-G-I-C-A-L.
Me: M-hmm (sipping tea)
Yaya: No one has ever managed to get any dirt on Siti. That oversized perasan diva-wannabe tried to spread nasty e-mails but we ALL KNOW that Siti is JUST NOT that kind of person. She's perrrrfeectt.
Me: Aiyo, Yaya. She's good la, but she's not perfect. I mean, what I like most about Siti is that she never claims to be better than the rest of us. She's humble and she doesn't put on airs. You know what I mean, she never pretends to be better than the rest of us mere mortals.
Yaya: But she IS. She's perfect, I tell you!
Me: YOU may think so but I don't. And I bet you, your darling Siti doesn't either. Ni apehal pulak cik Siti tu humble giler awak pulak over-over nih? (Why the heck are you going overboard while your Siti is just as humble as ever?)
Yaya: Sebab dia bukan macam kita. Dia lain. Dia baik. Dia perfect!
(Because she's not like us. She's different. She's nice. She's perfect!)
Me: Over la budak nih. I'm just saying that one of Siti's greatest traits is that she doesn't pretend to be better than us. She's just like any of us. She gets tired, she cries, she farts -
Yaya: She does NOT!!!!
Me: What?
Yaya: She does NOT do THAT!
Me: What? Fart?
Yaya: Yes! Siti Nurhaliza does NOT DO THAT! That's vile!
Me: Oi. You're telling me that your Siti does not expel noxious gasses from her cute behind?
Yaya: No no no no no! Diha, you're so meannnnnn!!
Me: What?!! Giler ke? She's human la, Yaya. Of COURSE she farts. I mean, don't you?
Yaya: (flusters and blinks rapidly) But..but Siti does NOT FART! She doesn't! You take that back!!!
Me: (noticed that Yaya was getting red in the face and made a split-second decision that this was a ridiculous subject to have a fight with a friend over) Okay, okay. Sorry. I take it back. Siti Nurhaliza does not fart.
*sigh*
I guess, unless the Young Diva herself makes a press statement attesting to the fact that she does, Ms.Yaya will forever be in blissful belief that the lady does not fart.
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)
Monday, April 11, 2005
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Bleurghh
That was how I felt yesterday and the day before yesterday. Just plain Bleurghh.
Monday wasn't such a bad day... initially. I had received a letter from HR giving me the good news that I've been granted a salary increment. But any plans for celebration that night was completely thrown out the window as I felt awfully bleurggh. My head hurt, my joints hurt.. I just felt very very weak.
Driving home while feeling bleurggh was bad enough. But it was also raining and we all know what happens to KL traffic when it rains. It was HELL. Upon reaching home, I just plonked myself on the bed and slept.
Woke up at 3am, drenched in sweat. I was feverish and shivering under the covers. I forced myself back to sleep because I had to wake up early to go to court in the morning.
Woke up in the morning STILL feverish and shivering. Dragged myself out of bed while Mom hovered around me, concerned and bewildered as to why her daughter still insists on going to work despite looking like a drowned-ogre.
I couldn't imagine having to drive in that condition so I got the Pakcik to send me to court. I tumbled out of the car and shuffled up 2 flights of stairs to get to the damn courtroom. Dressed in black and white, I think I must have looked like a penguin on drugs.
WHY is it when you're feeling (and looking) your worst, you bump into SO many people you know? Ex-colleauges, old schoolfriends, father's buddy, mother's cousins' daughter etc etc. The LAST thing you want to do is to indulge in small-talk but you're forced to do so while trying NOT to barf on their shoes.
After court, I went to the clinic. Of course, I had to go to the Firm's 'Panel Clinic'. Went to the one near the office. After filling up the forms, the nurses then told me that I had to go to their OTHER branch on the OTHER side of town. I begged them to allow me to be treated there but they insisted that I dragged my sorry ass to the OTHER clinic.
Fine. Went to the OTHER clinic. By that time, all I wanted to do was to curl up in a fetal-position and sleep. Finally saw the doctor and she did all the necessary stuff. Temperature (100), blood pressure (normal), open mouth (very red, very bad), does your joints hurt? yes? been bitten by mosquitoes? no? okay...good.
After a few minutes, I got my bag of medication and went home.
Spent the entire day in bed, trying NOT to move. My head felt like my brain was trying to find a way out of it. It was throbbing and throbbing and throbbing. My EYES were being weird too. I seriously felt like it was bulging out of my skull and trying to escape my face. My feet were shivering, despite the 2 layers of socks I had on.. My whole BODY was just BEGGING for relief.
God, I hate feeling bleurghh.
In order to take medication, one has to take it AFTER meals. But when one feels bleurgghh, one has NO appetite AT ALL. My mouth tasted funny... like.. I dunno. It just tasted funny. ALL food tasted funny. Crackers, soup, bread, pizza (my mom thought I could swallow that... and I did!). Everything tasted icky. ICKY!! But I forced it down to eat the damn medication and yet, I STILL felt bleurghh.
Now I'm back at work. Not feeling TOO bleurghh but the after-effects are still there. WHEN is this icky taste going to get out of my mouth? I know I wanted to lose weight before the wedding but I was NOT planning on the Bleurghh-Diet.
Okay, silver lining - at least I'm alive.
Monday wasn't such a bad day... initially. I had received a letter from HR giving me the good news that I've been granted a salary increment. But any plans for celebration that night was completely thrown out the window as I felt awfully bleurggh. My head hurt, my joints hurt.. I just felt very very weak.
Driving home while feeling bleurggh was bad enough. But it was also raining and we all know what happens to KL traffic when it rains. It was HELL. Upon reaching home, I just plonked myself on the bed and slept.
Woke up at 3am, drenched in sweat. I was feverish and shivering under the covers. I forced myself back to sleep because I had to wake up early to go to court in the morning.
Woke up in the morning STILL feverish and shivering. Dragged myself out of bed while Mom hovered around me, concerned and bewildered as to why her daughter still insists on going to work despite looking like a drowned-ogre.
I couldn't imagine having to drive in that condition so I got the Pakcik to send me to court. I tumbled out of the car and shuffled up 2 flights of stairs to get to the damn courtroom. Dressed in black and white, I think I must have looked like a penguin on drugs.
WHY is it when you're feeling (and looking) your worst, you bump into SO many people you know? Ex-colleauges, old schoolfriends, father's buddy, mother's cousins' daughter etc etc. The LAST thing you want to do is to indulge in small-talk but you're forced to do so while trying NOT to barf on their shoes.
After court, I went to the clinic. Of course, I had to go to the Firm's 'Panel Clinic'. Went to the one near the office. After filling up the forms, the nurses then told me that I had to go to their OTHER branch on the OTHER side of town. I begged them to allow me to be treated there but they insisted that I dragged my sorry ass to the OTHER clinic.
Fine. Went to the OTHER clinic. By that time, all I wanted to do was to curl up in a fetal-position and sleep. Finally saw the doctor and she did all the necessary stuff. Temperature (100), blood pressure (normal), open mouth (very red, very bad), does your joints hurt? yes? been bitten by mosquitoes? no? okay...good.
After a few minutes, I got my bag of medication and went home.
Spent the entire day in bed, trying NOT to move. My head felt like my brain was trying to find a way out of it. It was throbbing and throbbing and throbbing. My EYES were being weird too. I seriously felt like it was bulging out of my skull and trying to escape my face. My feet were shivering, despite the 2 layers of socks I had on.. My whole BODY was just BEGGING for relief.
God, I hate feeling bleurghh.
In order to take medication, one has to take it AFTER meals. But when one feels bleurgghh, one has NO appetite AT ALL. My mouth tasted funny... like.. I dunno. It just tasted funny. ALL food tasted funny. Crackers, soup, bread, pizza (my mom thought I could swallow that... and I did!). Everything tasted icky. ICKY!! But I forced it down to eat the damn medication and yet, I STILL felt bleurghh.
Now I'm back at work. Not feeling TOO bleurghh but the after-effects are still there. WHEN is this icky taste going to get out of my mouth? I know I wanted to lose weight before the wedding but I was NOT planning on the Bleurghh-Diet.
Okay, silver lining - at least I'm alive.
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