Storm in a Teacup from the Passing Wind...

I apologize beforehand for this absolutely ridiculous and absurd post. I spent the weekend with a high fever and..well, that's just my excuse.

If you're a Malaysian or you've lived in Malaysia for the past 10 years, you cannot proclaim to have never heard the name Siti Nurhaliza. For the benefit of those who don't have any idea who this woman is, she is a singer. But she's not just any run-of-the-mill singer, she is deemed the Malaysian Sweetheart. The Epitome of Loveliness. The Personification of Goodness.

I'm not a big fan of Siti. Neither am I one of those who proudly declare themselves Anti-Siti. I mean, she's a great singer. I really do believe she has a very good voice. And I respect her for her steadfast ability to maintain a 'clean reputation', especially in the world of dirty-entertainment-tabloids. The girl should be admired for what she has achieved at such a young age.

But despite my admiration for her achievements, I'm not about to join her million-membership fan club or anything. But I know someone who frowns upon that... Let's call her Yaya.

The following is a blow-by-blow account of my conversation with Yaya.

Me: So, Yaya. You must very proud of your 'idola', eh? Performing in London and all.

Yaya: Of course lah!! Not many Anak Melayu can sing in London, okay! Hah! I'd like to see Dayang or Waheeda or any of the Siti-wannabe's do THAT in the next 50 years!

Me: Waah... So passionate.

Yaya: Mestila!!! Siti is the BOMB! No one was like her, and no one will EVER be like her. She's so lemah-lembut, so gentle, so soft-spoken, so sweet and you can't deny that her voice is just so magical.

Me: Ya. I know. She's got a very nice voice.

Yaya: Excuse me. Not just 'very nice' okay. It's M-A-G-I-C-A-L.

Me: M-hmm (sipping tea)

Yaya: No one has ever managed to get any dirt on Siti. That oversized perasan diva-wannabe tried to spread nasty e-mails but we ALL KNOW that Siti is JUST NOT that kind of person. She's perrrrfeectt.

Me: Aiyo, Yaya. She's good la, but she's not perfect. I mean, what I like most about Siti is that she never claims to be better than the rest of us. She's humble and she doesn't put on airs. You know what I mean, she never pretends to be better than the rest of us mere mortals.

Yaya: But she IS. She's perfect, I tell you!

Me: YOU may think so but I don't. And I bet you, your darling Siti doesn't either. Ni apehal pulak cik Siti tu humble giler awak pulak over-over nih? (Why the heck are you going overboard while your Siti is just as humble as ever?)

Yaya: Sebab dia bukan macam kita. Dia lain. Dia baik. Dia perfect!
(Because she's not like us. She's different. She's nice. She's perfect!)

Me: Over la budak nih. I'm just saying that one of Siti's greatest traits is that she doesn't pretend to be better than us. She's just like any of us. She gets tired, she cries, she farts -

Yaya: She does NOT!!!!

Me: What?

Yaya: She does NOT do THAT!

Me: What? Fart?

Yaya: Yes! Siti Nurhaliza does NOT DO THAT! That's vile!

Me: Oi. You're telling me that your Siti does not expel noxious gasses from her cute behind?

Yaya: No no no no no! Diha, you're so meannnnnn!!

Me: What?!! Giler ke? She's human la, Yaya. Of COURSE she farts. I mean, don't you?

Yaya: (flusters and blinks rapidly) But..but Siti does NOT FART! She doesn't! You take that back!!!

Me: (noticed that Yaya was getting red in the face and made a split-second decision that this was a ridiculous subject to have a fight with a friend over) Okay, okay. Sorry. I take it back. Siti Nurhaliza does not fart.

*sigh*

I guess, unless the Young Diva herself makes a press statement attesting to the fact that she does, Ms.Yaya will forever be in blissful belief that the lady does not fart.

Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)