Breathe in.... Breathe outtt...

I like King of Queens. A sitcom on StarWorld about Doug, an IPS-delivery guy and his wife Carrie, a legal secretary. It's a very light-hearted comedy with just a wee bit of slapstick and lots of verbal sparring.

A few weeks ago, on King of Queens, they showed a flashback of when Doug and Carrie got married. During wedding planning, and even immediately before the wedding vows were exchanged, Carrie spent a lot of time in the toilet.... vomitting. Barfing. Throwing up. Uwekkkk'ing.

I found it rather amusing. Imagine how ol'Doug must've felt! The idea of marrying him was making this woman physically sick!!

But now, look at me.
No.... I'm not spending my time barfing my guts out (though it would be a rather effective form of losing weight... albeit the risk of bulimia...) But for the past few weeks, I've been getting sick.

I hardly ever get sick. I've always been fortunate in that sense. But recently, I keep catching cold, getting the flu, having a sore throat, migraine, stomach aches and very very recently... asthma! I haven't had asthma since my days in school!

So off I went to the clinic, gasping and wheezing away. And fortunately for me, my childhood doctor was on duty. He put me on the nebulizer (a machine that helps clear the airways) and afterwards, he gave me a thorough check-up. And he tells me, that the last time I had an asthma attack was during my final exams in law school. Apparently... this was a stress-induced asthma attack.

Wow. I had no idea. Stress doesn't just cause migraine... it causes asthma too! (And I guess, in Carrie's case, it must've been stress-induced vomitting).

It's amazing how our body can react to what's bothering our mind.

I had a friend in school who used to come up with red, splotchy rashes on her arms whenever the teacher announced a pop-quiz. And an ex-colleague of mine would literally fall asleep whenever the boss gave us an impossible deadline to meet (Which annoyed everyone, really. Here you have a ton of work to do and your stupid partner is snoring away)

Anyway, I was quite surprised by what my doctor said. I really didn't feel like I was all stressed out or anything. My mom was doing all the wedding stuff and she was being assisted by many, many, MANY well-meaning neighbors and relatives. My fiance is the most amazing man whom I'm lucky to have as a husband. My job is fabulous and will be waiting for me after the whole wedding hoolabaloo.
So where's all this stress coming from??

Tonight, I suddenly realize what was always at the back of my mind. What was causing all this 'stress', without me even realizing it.

I'm all grown up.

No hiding away from this fact. I'm an adult. For crying out loud, I'm going to be a wife!!!

After SPM, I could kid myself and say "Hey! Yes, I'm off to university but I'm still getting an allowance from my parents so yeah, I'm not 100% an adult yet."

After graduation and I got a job, I could still kid myself and say "Hey! Yes, I'm off to start a career and I'm getting a salary but I'm still single and under my parents care and rule so yeah, I'm not REALLLLYY an adult yet."

After the wedding.... I'll be a wife. A person with the responsibility of loving and caring for her man. A person who later will have the responsibility of bearing children and giving birth to them (yikess!!!!) and nurturing them to be grown adults.

An adult. 100% bona fide adult. No more excuses.
Whoa.

But that's alright. Millions of people have done this and they survived... And most of them turned out fine.

So calm down. It's a natural process of life. Enjoy it. Enjoy the wedding. Enjoy marriage. Enjoy life.

Breathe in.... breathe out.... breathe in.... breathe out....