Warning: In this post, I shall be doing some generalizations that may
The Single-Male Driver
Why is is that everytime a car:
- mencucuk ("drive so close to my car that if I hit the brakes we all die")
- potong queue ("speeds up to the toll-gate queue and nudges to the front of the line, ignoring the caterpillar of cars behind him")
- impatient (blares its horns at me when I slow down as the traffic light turns orange -- woi moron! that's what we're SUPPOSED to do at an orange light, slow down - not speed up)
--- more often than not, it's a SINGLE MALE driving the car??
When I say 'single', I don't mean bachelorhood, I mean 'solitary'.
I don't understand it. What? You think the big, bad, car makes you a big, bad boy? It's really weird... Just because you're all by your lonesome self in your car, doesn't give you the license to be a jerk.
Sheeessshhhh.........
The Mass Stupidity Epidemic in LRT Stations
It's amazing. If you go on Putra Line LRT, you'll notice that the doors to the trains don't just have "Please let passengers disembark before entering the train" signs.... nor do they just have the red markings on the floor to indicate where you should stand... they have actual PHOTOS of what to do and what NOT to do.
Photo 1 shows the passengers disembarking while the others stand politely to the side of the doors. This photo has a red tick under it.
Photo 2 shows the passengers being blocked by the rush of people pushing and shoving to get on the train. This photo has a red cross under it.
So basically, if you're too dumb to read the instructions, you're provided with an illustration to make the point clear.
But despite these OBVIOUS instructions, signs and photos, so many idiots STILL rush forward to get on the train before the doors even fully open. So passengers trying to disembark will have a very nice rugby tackle to deal with.
The Overcompensating Exhaust Syndrome
Sometimes, when I'm enjoying my peace and quiet... having a pleasant conversation with a friend or sipping a rich cup of coffee.... my ears are suddenly tormented by a loud "VVVHHHRRROOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!"
It sounds like a fighter jet had suddenly decided to land in the middle of KL and coast down the highway. The noise is horribly deafening... So I'll look for the source of that thunderous sound and what do I see??
A cute little red kancil chugging by with an enormous exhaust pipe. Talk about 'compensating for something you're lacking'...
The Pompous Kedai Kopi Millionaire
There I am, having a nice little Saturday night with my girlfriends... We're all chatting away, catching up on our lives.. sipping diet coke and munching on french fries. Suddenly we realise that someone's trying to barge in on our conversation. This large buffoon is seated at the table next to ours. Next to him is his buddy, the 'banker-looking-fella'.
Mr. Buffoon is bellowing out loud:
"My good friend, the DATUK called me yesterday when I was in CARCOSA SRI NEGARA. DATUK wanted me to join him for a drink at his MANSION IN HARTAMAS. My BMW was in the workshop so I had to take the FERRARI. My friend, the DATUK, wanted to know if I was willing to invest in his 45 MILLION PROJEK... bla bla bla bla bla"
All this while his eyes are sneaking glances at us.
Yeah dude, we're all SO impressed with your DATUK+CARCOSA+MANSION+FERRARI+45MILLION monologue, we're going to jump you right there and then.
Sheeeeeeeshhhh...............
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