Letter to Ms.RedShirt

Dear Ms.RedShirt,

I understand it's Monday and people usually hate Mondays. I understand that maybe, you had a bad weekend or perhaps you didn't get any last night. Or perhaps the traffic jam this morning was so awful and you were involved in a heated squabble with an armpit-smelling road bully. I can only guess as to what got you into that terrible gray cloud you were engulfed in.

But what I can't understand is your complete disregard of common decency.

The first time I caught a glimpse of you was when you were in your car. (By the way, you color-coordinated your shirt with your Proton Saga, bravo!) You were at the traffic light next to me and we both waited for the light to turn green. Some pedestrians were crossing the road and an old man with a cane was one of them. The old man had not yet reached the curb when the light turned green. It would have taken half a second of your time to allow the old man to step safely on the sidewalk but for some reason only known to yourself, you decided to pretend he was invisible and knock him over.

When he fell to the ground, I thank you for not stepping on the gas and squashing him. I thank you for remaining in your car with a bitchy look on your face as the other pedestrians ran to him to help him up. I thank you for flashing your beautifully manicured middle finger at the young lady who dared to yell at you for knocking down an old man. Bravo! You must be feeling reallllly good about yourself.

I drove to my office completely in awe at your bravado. Oh, we soooo need more women like you in this world.

As I drove into the parking lot, I caught my second glimpse of you. Ahhh... we share the same office building. How nice.

My respect for you grew as I saw how nicely you double-parked in front of a pillar near the lifts. The fact that your car was now blocking 3 other cars from going anywhere made it more amazing.

Then you proceeded to walk to the door leading to the lifts and then you noticed a stupid motorcyle blocking your way.
I give you the benefit of the doubt that perhaps you didn't see that the section there was really reserved for motorcyclist.
I give you the benefit of the doubt that perhaps you thought your hips were wider than they really are.
Maybe THAT'S why you pushed the motorcyle and let it fall to the ground. Bravo! You must have felt reaaallllly good about yourself.

I caught up with you and we waited for the lifts. And then stupid little me suddenly remembered that I had left a file in my car so I went back to collect it. Then I went back to the lifts and arrived just in time, as the lift had arrived and you had just entered the lift. I thank you for pretending I was invisible and for pushing the 'CLOSE' button repeatedly. I assume you didn't want me to share your lift because you were afraid I might've died from inhaling your toxic fumes.

Upon reaching my floor (after catching the next lift), I was pleasantly surprised to see you waiting outside the entrance to the firm I work in. You could not get access as you didn't have an employee pass. I smiled at you but of course, to you, I was invisible.

I fumbled in my bag for my pass-key and as my arms were filled with 6 large files, it took me a few seconds to do so. Thank you, Ms.RedShirt, for not volunteering to assist me in any way. Thank you for bestowing upon me your bitchy look and your huff-of-annoyance. And once I got the door open, THANK YOU for going in before I could and THANK YOU for letting the door slam in my face.

But most of all, Ms.RedShirt, thank you thank you THANK YOU for making my day. Thank you for the dazzling smile you flashed at me when we were finally introduced.

THANK YOU for applying for the position of Legal Secretary here in Z & Partners. It gave me great pleasure to tell the HR Manager that it'd be a cold day in hell before I took you as my Secretary.

Most Sincerely,
Maverix