Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground.

I’ve written about this before…
Elevator Etiquette.
I’m writing about it again because I am p.i.s.s.e.d.

This stupid tart and I were in the elevator.

She pressed 18th Floor, I pressed 12th.
The elevator went up.

It reached the 10th floor.
Her right hand went to the button panel.

It reached the 11th floor.
The forefinger of her right hand started to press the ‘Door Close’ button… persistently.

The elevator reached the 12th floor and ding’ed.
The door started to open.
I moved to get out.
Her finger is still persistently pressing the ‘Door Close’ button.

She succeeded in pissing-off a pregnant woman.

I stopped moving.
I let the door close.

She is startled.
She raises her face to look at me.
I look at her and smile.

“Since you seem so desperate in not letting me out, I’ll ride with you to your floor.”

So we rode up to the 18th floor in chilling silence.

I had a perpetual smile on my face (and it was the kind of smile you’d only see on a demented, deranged, maniac’s face).

Little Tart had her eyes lowered and her previously active hands were grasped firmly on her handbag.

As we reached the 18th Floor and the door ding’ed open, I was half-tempted to scare her further by stealthily following her.

But no, I’m not THAT nuts... yet.

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994), From "Betting on the Muse"